Sunday, 5 July 2009


hahaha.. im back.. after a few months away from my blog.. didnt have enough time for everything especially jotting down things that were in my head..

i guess things were quite alright for me nowadays.. nothing much to say except, I MISS HOME!!!! went home last month and all i wanted was to spend time with my family.. thats all.. i saw two of my closest friends ashvin n spike.. n that was just about it.. my brother has grown so big now n my family is just as strong as always.. my mum, i love her n miss her d most right now..
here they r...
look at the picture with d baby above.. gosh he is soo cute.. my closest cousin's 1st baby.. more to come i guess.. hehehe.. love him to bits.. i will actually browse my albums just to see his photos.. :)

and another baby, another nephew of mine...
cute right??

Well.. some pictures with friends n family coming soon... i'll upload them later.. im feeling very sleepy right now.. :p

Friday, 2 January 2009


hey people.. i think its quite long since i last wrote..

i had this urge of updating my blog n telling people what hv been in my head for d last couple of mths but i just couldnt find d time.. i just got back frm munich and dinner with my bf a while ago.. so i was just going through my favourite blogs.. its been a long time since i last read anything either.. hahhaa..

let see wht happened in nov2008..

im not single anymore.. hehhehe.. that all i can say about my status.. i mean it..

i was doing so many flights during that month and dead tired.. i had only a few days off here n there.. but i managed to fly my dearest darling cousin JY here to stay with me for a few of days.. he was what i needed to share my moments.. sad or happy.. he is the only one back home that have always been calling up to just have a chat with me and ask me about my flights or just how i was doing.. he calls me on daily basis.. we had fun but d time was quite limited as i was working when he was here.. his stay was short but sweet... wished he could stay longer..

and i went home couple of times.. i was happy to be home as usual.. but i wanted to stay longer.. as always.. its never enough though.. i really wonder do i really want to b home or is it just me missing home because im not there?? what happens if i were to resign n go back home?? is that what i really want?? get back to d old same routine.. i love this job but each and every one of us knows for a fact that i cannot be doing this for long.. im not getting any younger baby!! hehehe.. so let me think this through.. im definitely going home soon.. but for what reason... thats what i have to figure out... :)

n then comes my friends.. all we get to do was meet up late nite.. just having some fun.. i see my friends quite often.. they r my small little family here.. AR, JS, AS, PB, HMN, SW, EK, JL, SM.. mayb some new initials here.. they r not actually new friends but im sorry i've forgotten to mention some of them earlier.. :) but nowadays, there are a few friends who have really disappointed in so many ways.. im not the type who love and hate in the same day.. i love everything about all my friends and has accepted their flaws.. none of us are perfect.. and will never be.. and i hope my 'real' friends feel the same way about me.. since i got here, things has never been a bed of roses.. there is no more reporting to mummy and daddy when something goes wrong.. they cant sort things out for you any more or comfort you till u feel better.. everything has to be dealt by yourself.. you might have friends or your significant other to talk to.. to pour your heart at.. but solutions and decisions have to be made by YOURSELF!!! that really sucks.. hate it.. but some friends actually used the things i've told them to embarrass me in their conversations or their daily blog.. i've never told them anything because to me im not going to be like any of them.. i kept it to myself and bottled them up.. but i cant help myself from being hurt.. hey!! i love them.. thats why.. it is not because i cant tell them off or confront them.. i've accepted their flaws.. its just that to me if you are a good friend of mine, you would actually be very sensitive with things you say or do.. im not a princess that u have to be very careful of what u r going to say or do, im just like anyone of u that hv a thing called 'heart'.. i can be quite fragile at times eventhough some people might say i hv i hard exterior.. well again im just like anyone of u.. i still felt sad whenever something bad happens to them and wished i had all the powers in the world to take their sadness away... whtever they've done to me, i still love them to bits.. they can be how they wish and i would still love them.. call me stupid but i can still bear them all.. i dont mind getting hurt but i dont want them getting hurt at all in any way.. thats just how friendships can b sometimes.. *sigh*

i've lost the most treasured friendship in d past.. she was doing all the things that both of us vowed not to do.. but when u were younger n stupid, u get angry with people around u easily.. losing a friendship doesnt mean much.. u can always get other friends.. but good friends r hard to find.. thats is 1 thing for sure.. n dont any of u dare say its easy.. at the end of d day when u start reminicing or thinking of all d good things both of u had shared, u will miss the friendship.. not a bf n gf miss.. more than that.. n it hurts more.. i might hv put my foot down on it but both of us realised we've made a big mistake n now we r back as good friends.. we were in bad terms for 7 to 8 years.. what a waste.. all we needed to do back then is to love one another and love them for who they r..

u know what?? now i've come to realise that my blog is all about family and friendship rather than any other things.. n at the same time i seriously think thats what we r lacking of nowadays and drifting further from when u r away.. at least i think it is.. well let it b then.. this is my blog anyway.. i'll write whatever i want to that interests me.. hahaha...

well this needs to b continued.. later.. hopefuly not in a months time.. just dont know what else to write.. hehehhe...

take care n till then...

Tuesday, 11 November 2008

so.. the last post sounded sad as some of my friends told me.. hahaha.. well am actually on my standby right now.. and found a little bit time to write.. here goes..

i just spoke to NR my younger sister.. everyone is so stressed at home.. dont know why.. papa n mummy is asking me to call them.. thats wht NR said.. i was laughing.. u know why?? i havent actually spoken to them for the past few months.. i hv always called NR or my other siblings.. just dont know what to update my parents with.. friends, parties, work?? come on!!! QR is having her SPM exams.. one girl that gives me so much pride just being her sister.. her understanding with me is impeccable.. her discipline is just hard to believe.. if i could turn back time, i want to b just like her at the age 17.. and she cooks better than me.. hahahhaa..

at the same time, NR was telling me the misunderstanding she had with YR, my eldest sister.. i was not taking sides.. its just not fair for either one of them... i was telling NR wht to do but i havent spoken to YR yet.. i might b d second one in d family but my ranking is just below my papa.. everyone listens to me... hahahhaa... thats not the case in my wildest imagination.. hhahhaa.. mayb because i am very neutral with people and i just dont really know how to hate someone unless that someone has hurt my family.. thats all.. hatred takes me nowhere.. that is one thing im sure of.. we r all human and we make mistakes.. so if i can make mistakes, why cant others?? and yet u want life to b fair... hahahhaa.. funny isnt it?? okay back to NR n YR disagreement.. listen YR, u were like her before.. mayb even worse.. i was there before myself.. cant u just give her some space.. dont try to b an angel if we r not.. what she is doing is no different than what others are doing.. do me a favour both of u.. say sorry to each other, kiss n make up... i just dont understand why do u guys hv to take things for granted?? we wont be together forever.. soon each of us will be having our own life that doesnt include each other anymore.. but when i called NR again later, as hard headed as she has always been, said that she just wont say sorry.. hahahha.. i was giggling saying she was just being impossible.. we'll just c who wins.. :) and i had to go to sleep for a while before my standby starts..

for the past few days, i had my share of disppointments as well.. i had a standby and a manchester flight.. that flight was what i needed at that point of time.. i didnt want anyone to get near me at all.. i just wanted a review time for myself of why things are happening the way they happened.. is it because i couldnt be bothered about things or is it because i was too careful till i missed the small details or is it because i let them happen intentionally or unintentionally?? i had few drinks with a colleague of mine and it was good since we were just talking crap.. i didnt want to go back.. i knew when i get back to this new place i called 'home', it will be the same old &^$%.. it is the same *&^% indeed when i came back...

PB knew everything that was going on... she was such a sweetheart when she extended her shoulders for me.. i know with this girl our friendship will b for a long time.. and trust me it is a good one... with people like her with me here, my ups and downs felt lighter.. friends come and go.. but true friends remain still.. there r some new friends i've made a couple of days ago.. n we clicked right away... her name is HMN... just luv talking and sharing thoughts with her.. n she's sooooooo funny... she just came back frm a flight and i might c her on my off days.. if my dearest bestie AR, is around is even better.. nothing beats him.. just a darling and one of d longest and trusted friends i hv.. where is he anyway?? will call him tomorrow... mayb he is in town...
seriously i dont know where im heading with my post tonight but i enjoyed writing them.. feeling sleepy a little but going to continue chatting with..... so till then...

Thursday, 6 November 2008

well... this is my first time ever to write a blog.. facinating enough i am addicted to reading them.. but in the end, i turn to writing rather than reading.. after all i can pour my heart out here and dont hv to worry what people will say about it.. haha..

i am a proud malaysian that does not stay in malaysia (hahhaa.. macam weird je ayat ni).. kerja kat luar dah nak dekat 2 tahun.. macam semalam je baru datang sini.. so many things has happened here.. mostly i've learnt is what life actually meant.. im not that young (hehehe..) but have spent most of my life staying with my family till i left M'sia.. my life was not so bad back home, but i was tired doing the same thing everyday.. so i've applied to do something very different from what i've been doing previously..

when i got this job, berat rasa hati nak tinggalkan family and kawan2.. i am basically a family oriented person.. my family is the reason of my entire being.. kerja siang malam or boyfriend bagai nk rak macam mana pun, family still no. 1.. hahhaa.. tapi nak buat mcm mana, this is something i really hv to do.. i had to leave them for a while.. my best buddy, pablo, i managed to say a proper farewell to him who is still waiting for my calls whenever i am back..

the last time i saw mummy and papa, raya baru2 ni.. my heart breaks everytime i see their faces.. AR and QR, my youngest brother and sister, klakar sangat.. i just love hanging out with them.. ada je issue and benda2 mengarut diorg.. i lost 2 years of seeing both of them grow up.. NR and YR my other 2 sisters biasa la kalau jumpa sembang tak habis.. NR is the closest to me and practically my soulmate.. tak sabar nak balik KL lg bulan ni..

when i got here, i could not believe myself i actually did leave my loved ones and my life that i grew up with..

when i reached the airport, it was disappointing enough to compare to KLIA, hahhaa.. i came with this chinese girl, WY who took the same job, and we were placed in the same building... i was staying with 2 spectacular thai girls yang till today i love them to bits.. WY stayed with 2 msians.. the next day we went out and met an indonesian and a singaporean girl.. jadi la kita org 4 sekawan.. truly asia gitu.. hahhaa..

we started our training 2 days after reaching this devastating city.. my batch consists of 9 of us.. 2 msians, myself and WY, an indonesian, a british, an indian, a south african, a russian, a bosnian and a finnish girl who ended up being one of my closest friends now..

the training lasted for 2 mths.. can u just imagine how home sick i was?? nak gila pun ada.. kalau nk diikutkan, nak je i balik KL mcm tu je.. no doubt dgn kawan2, hilang la sikit jiwa kacau tu.. tapi tuhan je tau how bad i wanted to go back.. as soon as we finished our training, we were ask to move to our permanent apartment.. i stayed with WY.. an angel.. till now for almost 2 years..

lepas tu bila dah start fly, okay la sikit because i get to operate KL flights almost every month.. tp still duduk jauh from family, the feeling is never good..

so many things have happened when i'm away.. my closest cousin got married.. pregnant now.. so happy for her.. my family as usual missing them every single day.. i broke up with the guy i was in love the most.. pablo has changed his job to a better one.. people come and go on daily basis.. i became more independent on my own.. and treasured more of what i had and have now..

now my daily routine here is either work, cook or friends.. i love to cook and eat with my big eater friends.. alhamdulillah i am blessed with my mum's talent.. even though masak tak la terrer mcm mummy.. hahhaa.. i know i will never be as good as she is.. my friends here are some of the nicest and most sensible people i've met throught out my life.. AR, PB, JS, AS, SW, EK and JL.. they are just d sweetest.. tp JS yang i paling banyak jumpa la.. dia ni dah la klakar.. a good dancer too.. hahhaa.. AS, compliment JS.. tp dia malu2 sikit.. hahaha.. SW is one wild girl tht brought colours and smiles to people watching her.. EK pulak is just like a baby.. his heart is just so pure.. and all these initials above are all the people i can easily trust them with my life..
thats it for now.. finally i managed to write after a long time this account been created.. mula2 rasa malas.. ambik!! dh type banyak la pulak..
till then...