Whats going on!!

hey people.. i think its quite long since i last wrote..


i had this urge of updating my blog n telling people what hv been in my head for d last couple of mths but i just couldnt find d time.. i just got back frm munich and dinner with my bf a while ago.. so i was just going through my favourite blogs.. its been a long time since i last read anything either.. hahhaa..

let see wht happened in nov2008..

im not single anymore.. hehhehe.. that all i can say about my status.. i mean it..

i was doing so many flights during that month and dead tired.. i had only a few days off here n there.. but i managed to fly my dearest darling cousin JY here to stay with me for a few of days.. he was what i needed to share my moments.. sad or happy.. he is the only one back home that have always been calling up to just have a chat with me and ask me about my flights or just how i was doing.. he calls me on daily basis.. we had fun but d time was quite limited as i was working when he was here.. his stay was short but sweet... wished he could stay longer..

and i went home couple of times.. i was happy to be home as usual.. but i wanted to stay longer.. as always.. its never enough though.. i really wonder do i really want to b home or is it just me missing home because im not there?? what happens if i were to resign n go back home?? is that what i really want?? get back to d old same routine.. i love this job but each and every one of us knows for a fact that i cannot be doing this for long.. im not getting any younger baby!! hehehe.. so let me think this through.. im definitely going home soon.. but for what reason... thats what i have to figure out... :)

n then comes my friends.. all we get to do was meet up late nite.. just having some fun.. i see my friends quite often.. they r my small little family here.. AR, JS, AS, PB, HMN, SW, EK, JL, SM.. mayb some new initials here.. they r not actually new friends but im sorry i've forgotten to mention some of them earlier.. :) but nowadays, there are a few friends who have really disappointed in so many ways.. im not the type who love and hate in the same day.. i love everything about all my friends and has accepted their flaws.. none of us are perfect.. and will never be.. and i hope my 'real' friends feel the same way about me.. since i got here, things has never been a bed of roses.. there is no more reporting to mummy and daddy when something goes wrong.. they cant sort things out for you any more or comfort you till u feel better.. everything has to be dealt by yourself.. you might have friends or your significant other to talk to.. to pour your heart at.. but solutions and decisions have to be made by YOURSELF!!! that really sucks.. hate it.. but some friends actually used the things i've told them to embarrass me in their conversations or their daily blog.. i've never told them anything because to me im not going to be like any of them.. i kept it to myself and bottled them up.. but i cant help myself from being hurt.. hey!! i love them.. thats why.. it is not because i cant tell them off or confront them.. i've accepted their flaws.. its just that to me if you are a good friend of mine, you would actually be very sensitive with things you say or do.. im not a princess that u have to be very careful of what u r going to say or do, im just like anyone of u that hv a thing called 'heart'.. i can be quite fragile at times eventhough some people might say i hv i hard exterior.. well again im just like anyone of u.. i still felt sad whenever something bad happens to them and wished i had all the powers in the world to take their sadness away... whtever they've done to me, i still love them to bits.. they can be how they wish and i would still love them.. call me stupid but i can still bear them all.. i dont mind getting hurt but i dont want them getting hurt at all in any way.. thats just how friendships can b sometimes.. *sigh*

i've lost the most treasured friendship in d past.. she was doing all the things that both of us vowed not to do.. but when u were younger n stupid, u get angry with people around u easily.. losing a friendship doesnt mean much.. u can always get other friends.. but good friends r hard to find.. thats is 1 thing for sure.. n dont any of u dare say its easy.. at the end of d day when u start reminicing or thinking of all d good things both of u had shared, u will miss the friendship.. not a bf n gf miss.. more than that.. n it hurts more.. i might hv put my foot down on it but both of us realised we've made a big mistake n now we r back as good friends.. we were in bad terms for 7 to 8 years.. what a waste.. all we needed to do back then is to love one another and love them for who they r..

u know what?? now i've come to realise that my blog is all about family and friendship rather than any other things.. n at the same time i seriously think thats what we r lacking of nowadays and drifting further from when u r away.. at least i think it is.. well let it b then.. this is my blog anyway.. i'll write whatever i want to that interests me.. hahaha...

well this needs to b continued.. later.. hopefuly not in a months time.. just dont know what else to write.. hehehhe...

take care n till then...